She claimed she told a senior Palace official that she wanted to get treatment for her depression, but was denied because it would “look bad”.
“[Going to a hospital] is what I was asking to do, I was told I couldn’t because it wouldn’t be good for the institution,” the Duchess told Oprah Winfrey during their two-hour interview.
She said she felt so low at one point that she told the Duke of Sussex that she could not be left alone because she was afraid she might harm herself.
The Duchess described a particularly distressing time when she was attending a concert with her husband at the Royal Albert Hall.
“We had to go to this event after I told Harry I didn’t want to be alive any more. In the pictures, I see how tightly his knuckles are gripped around mine,” she said. “We are smiling, doing our job. In the Royal Box, when the lights went off, I was just weeping.”
“I was really ashamed to have to say it at the time and ashamed to have to admit it to Harry especially, but I knew that if I didn’t say that I would do it,” she told Ms Winfrey. “I just didn’t want to be alive any more.”
Photographs of the event “haunt” her, she added.
She said she then turned to a friend of Diana, the Princess of Wales, the Duke’s mother, for help and advice.